


I Hope You Lie to Me

by notimmortal



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: But he's working on it, Friends to Lovers, Jared Kleinman Is Bad at Feelings, Light Angst, M/M, and he's kind of a dick, barely any, for once, friends with benefits to more than that, like literally the lightest of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-11-23 18:15:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18155321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notimmortal/pseuds/notimmortal
Summary: “Friends with benefits,” Jared said, reaching over to Evan’s bedside table for his glasses. “All the fun of the relationship without actually having one. Come on, Evan, what do you say?”'I should say no. This is a horrible idea' Evan thought to himself. But out loud, he found himself saying, “Okay.”





	I Hope You Lie to Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello!  
> So fun fact: I wrote this in September and just never posted it. Even though I was happy with it, it's just sat in my WIP folder on my computer. I don't even know why.  
> Anyway  
> Title taken from "Lie to Me" by 5 Seconds of Summer  
> Includes some of the chorus in here too because it's just a great song and I love it SO MUCH  
> hope you enjoy!

“Well, this was fun, Ev,” Jared said, falling back against Evan’s pillows. “I don’t know what came over us, but at least this felt worthwhile.”

 

They had just had sex. Evan had just had sex with his best friend.  _ Family friend _ a voice in his head whispered.  _ Major crush _ a different voice hissed.

 

Evan wasn’t sure why he did this, why he thought that this would be a good idea. Now, in the post-sex haze, he felt good. But he wouldn’t feel good when Jared left.

 

And Jared was going to leave.

 

“Maybe this should be our thing,” Jared pondered out loud. Evan shot up to look at him, which made Jared make a face. “What? Don’t like the idea of being fuck buddies?”

 

“Fuck buddies?”

 

“Friends with benefits,” Jared said, reaching over to Evan’s bedside table for his glasses. “All the fun of the relationship without actually having one.”  _ All the fun, right. Because sex was all the fun. All Jared could ever stomach doing with you _ . “Come on, Evan, what do you say?”

 

_ I should say no. This is a horrible idea. _ Evan thought to himself. But out loud, he found himself saying, “Okay.”

 

***

 

Having sex with Jared was weird. 

 

Good, but weird.

 

Evan had decided this fact about a month later, as he laid next to Jared on Jared’s bed. When they started doing this, Evan didn’t think it would have an impact on their friendship, but it did. Jared didn’t call him a family friend anymore. If anything, Jared was so much nicer now that they were sleeping together. 

 

_ He’s getting what he want from you, the only good part of you. _

 

Evan shook his head, trying to get rid of the invading thoughts. But it felt true. As much as Evan liked, maybe even loved, Jared, Jared only liked Evan for sex. Jared would never, could never, love Evan the way that Evan loved Jared.

 

But in that moment, laying next to Jared, Evan was okay with that fact. Because even if Evan would have to leave in a moment (Jared was falling asleep as Evan lost himself in thought) and even if this wasn’t indicative of what real love was, Evan was happy. He was happy because Jared was happy. He was happy because now he and Jared could hang out like real friends, not just for Jared’s car insurance. He was happy because this meant that Jared wasn’t seeing anyone else, he was all Evan’s, even if their relationship held no romance.

 

Because romance was overrated, right?

 

Sighing to himself, Evan started to get up. Jared never stayed after sex at Evan’s, so it was only fair that Evan didn’t stay at Jared’s either. However, as he started to swing his legs over the side of the bed, a hand on his arm stopped him. Evan turned his head to see a very sleep Jared, saying, “Stay.”

 

So Evan stayed.

 

***

 

Evan staying after sex became the new norm. Whenever they did it at Jared’s, Jared would always ask Evan to stay. 

 

Jared never stayed at Evan’s though.

 

“Why?” Evan asked one night as Jared was pulling his clothes back on.

 

“Why what?” Jared replied, not really paying attention to Evan as he adjusted his belt.

 

“Why don’t you ever stay over here?” Evan’s voice was more confident than he felt in the moment. 

 

“What does it matter?” Jared asked, still not looking at Evan. Evan was getting frustrated.

 

“I always stay by your place. Why don’t you ever want to stay here?” 

 

Jared sighed, looking up at Evan finally. There was a hint of tiredness in his eyes, but not the kind that was fixed with sleep. “Ev, you’re taking this too seriously. So I don’t sleep here. What does it matter? It’s not like we’re dating or anything. Just let it go.” With that, Jared was out the door. He had left behind his jacket, which Evan immediately picked up. He almost ran after Jared, but decided to hold onto it instead.

 

Decided to hold onto the illusion of happiness instead.

 

***

 

It had been seven months since Evan and Jared had started their friends with benefits charade and Evan was at his wits end.

 

Every day, despite not wanting to, Evan was falling more in love with Jared. Their friendship had never been stronger, and yet it all felt like lies to him. The only thing keeping them as friends was sex and Evan couldn’t take it anymore.

 

“I think we should stop this,” Evan said softly as Jared started to slip his shirt off. They were at Jared’s house, about to ‘have some fun’ as Jared always said, and Evan was sick of it.

 

“What?” Jared asked, his voice sounding almost scared. Evan shook away that thought, it didn’t matter. He didn’t matter to Jared.

 

“We should stop this,” Evan said more firmly. He was looking at his hands instead of Jared, standing close to the door just in case things went wrong.

 

“Stop? But, I… Ev… I… Why?”

 

“Because I can’t keep doing this to myself, Jared!” Evan shouted. “I can’t keep hurting myself like this, day in and day out! You just… You don’t get it! You never get it! You’re only friends with me, you’re only  nice to me because I sleep with you and I… and I love you, I’ve loved you for  years and you just… you don’t care about me.”

 

“Wait, Evan, I-”

 

“You don’t have to say anything, I already know what it’s going to be. And I get it, Jare, I do, because who could ever love the anxious mess of a person that I am?” Evan sighed, leaning against the wall, trying to fight back tears. “Sometimes I wish we had never met because I just can’t forget you after this. I won’t be able to keep you out of my head but it’s not working and it’s over now and I know that you don’t but if I asked you if you love me, I hope you’d lie to me. I hope you’d lie and say that you  do because I would’ve loved to hear those words from you just  once before this,” Evan sighed once more, turning to leave. “I’m sorry for ruining this, Jare.”

 

Then he was out the door, ignoring Jared’s calls from behind him.

 

***

 

It had been a week since Evan had last seen Jared. A week since he confessed his love and fled. A week since he had ruined a friendship.

 

A week since he had broken his own heart.

 

But Evan was fine. He was, really. He focused on school, and helping his mom out. He wrote his therapy letters and worked at Pottery Barn. And he tried his best not to think about Jared.

 

He failed that last step, but it’s okay.

 

Or it was, until Jared showed up in Evan’s line at the Pottery Barn.

 

“Jared!” Evan all but yelped when he saw him. All the feelings he had been trying to ignore for the past week were creeping back up into him.

 

“Hey, Ev,” Jared said softly, easily. He sounded like he always did when he was trying to calm Evan down: soft, sweet, caring. So caring.

 

Evan reached out to grab whatever Jared had come to buy, only to find that there was nothing for him to scan. His eyes shot up, meeting Jared’s. “I, um… What are you doing here?”

 

“I came to talk to you, actually,” Jared said sheepishly. “Do you… What time do you get off?” Jared asked as if he didn’t know, but Evan knew he did. 

 

“Still 5, like always,” Evan said, glancing at the clock to see that it was 5 right then. “Which means now. I’m gonna go sign out. I… I guess wait for me outside?” Jared nodded and Evan scampered back to sign out. 

 

He took a moment in the back of the store to gather himself, trying to calm the spike of anxiety that had flared when he saw Jared. Once he managed to reduce the racing pace of his heart, Evan made his way outside. He saw Jared sitting on a bench right by the door to the store.

 

“Hey,” Evan said, feigning calm once again.

 

“Hey,” Jared said, still maintaining the easy manner of speech he had before. “I, um… Do you mind if I take you somewhere? So we can talk?”

 

“I… sure.”

 

Evan got into Jared’s car, neither of them saying anything. The ride was tense and silent, but soon they arrived at the local forest preserve. Evan looked at Jared as he stopped the car, but Jared didn’t say anything, just exited the car.

 

The two walked through the trees for a little while, stopping and sitting at one point. It was still silent for a moment, before Jared finally spoke. “I… I wanted to apologize, for before.”

 

“Jared, you don’t have to-”

 

“But I do, Ev. I… I made you feel unwanted, unloved, and that was shitty of me. I made you think that I only liked you because we were fucking and, Evan, you have to know that’s not true,” Jared said, turning to Evan and grabbing his hands. “I wouldn’t… I  didn’t … It was never just the sex for me, Evan. I swear.”

 

“Jared, you don’t have to lie to me,” Evan said, but he made no moves to pull his hands away from Jared’s. “I know that-”

 

“You don’t know, Evan!” Jared yelled, pulling his hands away to cover his face. “You don’t know anything about… Evan. I need you to understand. I should never have proposed us just being friends with benefits because it never was just supposed to be a friends with benefits thing. I never should’ve told you that you were taking things to seriously or that we weren’t meant to be dating because, Evan, we  are . I wanted to date you, I wanted to be able to hold you in my arms and know that that was where you wanted to be. That’s why I always asked you to stay and never stayed myself. I didn’t want you to know how badly I wanted to stay. God, Evan, I love you. I swear I do.”

 

“You mean that?” Evan asked hesitantly. He was waiting for the inevitable, ‘You’re so fucking stupid, Ev, this was all a joke!’ However, when he looked back at Jared, all he saw was earnesty.

 

“Of course I mean it, Evan. I never should’ve let you believe otherwise. Can I… Can I kiss you, Evan?”

 

Evan nodded, not trusting his own mouth. Jared leaned forward and placed his lips on Evan’s. The kiss was sweet, soft, so different from the intense makeouts they had when they were having sex. This kiss held love to it. Evan could feel it.

 

Jared pulled away first, drawing in a deep breath. “I want to start this all over, Ev. Start us over. Do things right. Would you… Would you want that? An actual relationship with me?”

 

Evan leaned forward and pecked Jared on the lips. “Of course I would. I’ve wanted that this entire time.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated but never required. Come say hi on tumblr (ireallyneedabetterusername)! I'm always open to prompts but no one ever takes me up on that offer (sad).


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